my dilemma

[RKGraphics]

this is my book. i needed to vent for myself, and that's all.

i can't stand my job. i get paid so well, i have the best benefits a company can offer. its a nice facility. its a great company...but its customer service/tech support by phone. you have stats to adhere to and you are a slave while you're on the phones, constantly being monitored and can't just take a break for a second unless it's scheduled. so much pressure. and on top of that, i have to speak to jerks all day long.

i don't have the energy to be happy all day to 80+ customers. im an award winning rep, i am one of the top reps there but i have been home for the past month on short term due to medical issues and i have NO desire to return to work. it's not just no desire, its feeling completely sick to my stomach and crying before even going out the door.

why not just find another job? because, i'm skilled in graphics, and tech support/phone support. obviously i'm not going to go find another phone support type job. this is the best company for that position. and its hard to get a graphics position here without a degree.

problem is, i have a son to support and people who know me personally know that i need money. so i should just suck it up and go right? i need to be strong for my son....etc. yes, i've heard it all before. i KNOW what i have to do. but there are deeper issues within me that can't be revealed, that totally hinder my ability to function like normal people. :sweatdrop:

leaving me back in a hard position of decision making yet again. most of my time off so far has been covered by short term but im pushing it more and more with each day i miss. i keep saying "tomorrow i'll return" but then i don't go.

i don't know. when i'm there, its all fine and dandy. but returning to work from short term is hard because you're constantly judged. i think that's what's actually preventing me from stepping foot in the building (because i probably hold the record for the most short term claims).

ugh, the life of a single parent with a crappy job. i envy all of you with the strength to just suck it up and go. i need someone to grab me by the hair and drag me to work.

[Incognito]

Sweetie if i was local to you i'd drag you there myslef but i'm here if you need to chat at all hunny.
Can only do it by PM but heck at least it's better than nothing LOL
Keep your chin up sweetie.
I know it's hard but think of your son as i know how much he means to you.
*hugs*

[RKGraphics]

on a lighter note. my son had a blast at his friends bday party. its the first social gathering sully has gone to. and it was a place full of big blow up stuff to slide on and bounce on. and i taught him how to play games and stuff. i was so worn out after that. it was so much fun.

but i texted my supervisor regarding my issues and i think im going to be ok if i can just make it in tomorrow. ;)

[minnseoelite]

i agree with Inc keep your chin up and you will be ok, sounds like you will be already. glad to hear your son had fun at that party, sounds like you had fun as well ;)

[Sergio]

We all need to vent every now and then. Just try to stay positive.

[Incognito]

on a lighter note. my son had a blast at his friends bday party. its the first social gathering sully has gone to. and it was a place full of big blow up stuff to slide on and bounce on. and i taught him how to play games and stuff. i was so worn out after that. it was so much fun.

but i texted my supervisor regarding my issues and i think im going to be ok if i can just make it in tomorrow. ;)

Awww yay. I'm glad he had fun.
I used to love all the bouncy castles and stuff.
Mind you i'm 36 now and i still don't think i've changed ROFL
Keeping fingers crossed for you tomorrow hun you can do it :)

[RKGraphics]

thanks. i got encouraging words from my supervisor. i think its absolutely do or die tomorrow.

my son made me work out, i went on all the slides with him . it was fun. i was so worn out. im sick now. lol.

[Incognito]

thanks. i got encouraging words from my supervisor. i think its absolutely do or die tomorrow.

my son made me work out, i went on all the slides with him . it was fun. i was so worn out. im sick now. lol.

I know what you mean hun.

We actually went out for the day about 2 weeks ago and we went to Chessington which is a theme park and OMG did i ever ache afterwards.

I even went on the rollercoasters.

Vampire and ramesis revenge were the scariest but i LOVED it ROFL

Ached for about a week afterwards but so worth it especially seing how much fun the boys had LOL

Funny how young our kids can make us feel isn't it LOL

[Incognito]

How did it go hun ?

[RKGraphics]

didn't go. i can't today actually. due to a medical issue :(

[minnseoelite]

its alright don't let it get to you, there is always tomorrow :)

[RKGraphics]

and then tomorrow i'll find another reason not to go. LOL. but seriously. today is bad so i can't go.

[Incognito]

Awww sweetie *big hugs* for you :)

[minnseoelite]

yeah i already know ;) just being positive :)

[RKGraphics]

yeah. supervisor just text me. not really a good text. but not bad. he's just wondering what's going on :(

thought i covered that with him yesterday. i'm sure it's because HR is bugging him.

[RKGraphics]

so. i have been feeling like crap a lot lately. hard time breathing, feeling like i have the flu/allergies. headaches. stomach problems. i go to this website last night to check out side effects of the meds im taking. turns out i have 95% of the symptoms for the side effects. and its not common ones either. not something you can take for a side effect but is really just bad food you ate.

one complication could be lactic acidosis. i have to go get tested to make sure its all good. needless to say, i haven't been back to work. and i'm being pressured now by my supervisor for updates. ahhhhhh the life

[Incognito]

It could also be panic attacks and an ulcer caused by too much stress and worry.

Get down your doctors for a check up hun :)

so. i have been feeling like crap a lot lately. hard time breathing, feeling like i have the flu/allergies. headaches. stomach problems. i go to this website last night to check out side effects of the meds im taking. turns out i have 95% of the symptoms for the side effects. and its not common ones either. not something you can take for a side effect but is really just bad food you ate.

one complication could be lactic acidosis. i have to go get tested to make sure its all good. needless to say, i haven't been back to work. and i'm being pressured now by my supervisor for updates. ahhhhhh the life

[Kasami2k4]

Phone jobs can be a pain x.x My friend was a telemarketer. (I would hang him if he werent my friend) so he got harassed CONSTANTLY whenever he called people. One time some guys like

"Well, Im gonna put you on hold for a while here"
And my friends like "No problem, I get paid by the hour"

And since they monitor their calls yeessssh. Anyway, he got fired.

I'd love a job in tech support, but not phone tech support X.x more like hands on. blergh. Course, I treat other people how they treat me, regardless of pay x.x If they're rude to me, I'll be rude right back, haha..

[miramasque]

Hi,
Gosh do I understand your predicament. I think it's best to go in when you physically can though. I speak from personal experience.

Three years ago I hurt my neck while at the gym. After that day I started getting migraine headaches. I now have them on a daily basis. I ended up having to quit my very high paying job. It was so hard to prove to my employer, even friends and the hardest part was my then husband. He just couldn't believe it possible that I was in so much pain and that none of the medication I was prescribed was working.
So here I am three years later, unemployed, divorced, no health insurance, and if that's not horrible. My exhusband had the audacity to use all of this against me with a very expensive lawywer to win primary custody of our daughter.
The result is I sit and try to figure out ways that I can use whatever pain free days and hours I have with my laptop earning money at the computer :(

Sorry to dump this in your thread. I just wanted to let you know that things can get very bad quickly when we lose the ability to support ourselves.

I wish you well and I hope you get some rest and recuparation.

--Mira

[miramasque]

oh my goodness lol. did i mention i suffer from migraine headaches. i totally didn't notice the timeline of this thread!

i could remove it maybe, but i thought i would leave it as a testament to a) my previous post and b) i still hope you are doing better ;)

--Mira

i feel *special*

[RKGraphics]

aw thanks every one. i am the same tiff, i have to bite my tongue every moment of the day im at work because i tend to treat people the way they treat me.

i am going to see my dr today. i didnt get paid, more stress. and yes, i take xanax for anxiety and they won't refill it because its 7 days too soon.

its just a hard time in my life right now. hopefully my dr will send the insurance company an update so i can at least get my paycheck. did i mention the side effects make my nose runny, so my nose is totally raw now from blowing it :(

[miramasque]

Hate that raw runny nose :(

When Kleenex came out with the aloe vera? tissues I was so excited. Can't remember if it's aloe vera, whatever the heck it is. Lotion tissues to keep them from scraping, good idea.

Get better already :)

--Mira